Best Jokes About Retards:

    • What do get when you run over 20 retards with a steamroller? Potatoe pancakes.
    • What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
    • What do you call a retard in a house fire? Flame Retardant
    • How do you execute a retard?  The Electric Wheelchair
    • A man walked into an appliance store and asked the clerk, “Do you sell color televisions?”
      “Yes,” said the clerk. The man replied, “Then give me a green one.”


jokes about retards


    • George W. Bush visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: “You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra…
    • Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives.
      The first guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn’t have a garage door.”
      The second guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn’t have any earphones.”
      The third guy says, “My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn’t even have a d**k.”

Retard Jokes

Q/A About Retards

Q: Why was it so easy for Dick Cheney to manipulate George Bush?
A: Both are retards. But George Bush is even more retarded.

Q: How do you get rid of a retard?
A: Give him a knife and ask “Who’s special?”

Q: How do you get retards out of a tree?
A: Wave to them!

Q. What do you call a Donkey with three legs?
A. wonky

Q. What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
A. Doug.

Funny Retard Dialogue

TENANT: “I saw the retard who moved in with your sister.”
LANDLORD: “That retard is worth five million dollars.”
TENANT: “He’s a retard worth five million bucks then.”
LANDLORD: “Some retards get rich.”

Random Retard Jokes:

  • A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank’s video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. The videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.
  • A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but the autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage(and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn’t have been fatal. But the man was shut, up in his, near airtight bedroom. According to the article, “He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating “this deadly gas.” Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.
  • A guy walks into a bar with a something hanging from his zipper. The bartender takes a closer look and says, “Hey, you got a steering wheel on your fly!” To which the man replies. (Pirate speak) “Arrrgh… Its driving me nuts!”

Knock Knock Jokes:

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it’s cold out here

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow whMOOOOOOOO!
Haha! Best joke EVAR!

Retard Jokes Definitions

1. Retard is a polite euphemism for George W. Bush.

George W Bush holding funny book for retards

2. Retard is a person who believes every TV commercial he sees.

funny picture of cat realizing its owners stupidity

3. Retard is a woman who does not wash her vagina because she thinks it would attract sexy men.

retarded yet funny answer of extremely stupid woman

4. Retard is a guy who has cut off his balls because he did not want to wash them.

Funny Picture that makes fun of David Cameron The Retard


5. Retard is that friend of yours who calls you at 3 am and asks if you are sleeping.