Funny Guess What Jokes:

Guess what jokes we’ve got for you here. Yeah, you got it – Guess What jokes! And guess what – they’re the funniest Guess What jokes you’ll find!


When I won the lottery, I decided to share it with my ex-wife.

So I rang her and said, “Guess what, I won the jackpot.”


Dude, guess what?

What?

I Can’t believe they’re still together after all that crap they’ve been through?

Who?

My butt cheeks.


Question: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
Answer: He wanted cold hard cash!


Hey Nathan, Guess what?

Tonight’s guys night out!


Phew, that was a bit of a tongue-tying and confusing introduction!

Anyway, enjoy these funny Guess What jokes.


Q. Guess Why do most married men die earlier than their wives?
A.  Because they want to.


Q. Guess what device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time?

A. Your shinbone


I said to the wife, “Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman on this road except one.”

She said, “I’ll bet it’s that stuck up Joanna at number 32.”


Guess what?

I just got my braces off


Guess what?

“What”

Good Guess!


Q. Guess Why do parents give children a middle name?

A. So the child knows when it is in seriously in trouble.


Bought some of these flavored condoms the other day.

That night in bed, I said to my wife, “Let’s play a game – I put one on and you try to guess what flavor it is.”


Question: Guess what is the definition of the early evening news?

Answer: It starts with the words “Good evening” then spends the next half an hour telling you why it isn’t one.


She closed her eyes, went under the blanket and said, “Cheese and onion flavor.”

I said, “Wait! Give me time to put one on.”


guess what joke


Bruce Willis is making yet another Die Hard movie.

I guess what they say about old habits is true.


Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7

A. Because of 7 8 9!


Question: Guess what is the best definition of a mixed emotion?

Answer: Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.


Guess what, Facebook.

I’m not going to tell you what’s on my mind today.


Q. Why do thieves shower before they commit the crime?

A. Because they like a clean getaway.



A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they’ll play a game with the kids. They’ll give them a clue and get them to guess what it is.

At mealtime, the kids are eager to know what the meat is on their plates, so they beg their dad for the clue.

“Well,” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes”.

The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it! It’s an asshole!”


Q. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A. A stick.


Question: Why does a divorce cost so much?

Answer: Because it is worth it.



On his 16th birthday, I thought my son deserved to know the truth about his being adopted.

So when he got home from school, I said to him, “Steve, do you mind sitting down, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Dad, guess what?!” he shouted excitedly.

“Steve, this is important.” I urged.

“No way, Dad. Listen!”

“Steve. Please. Don’t make this hard for me. It’s about your mum and me.”

“Dad! Shut up! I’ve just won £250,000 on a scratch card!”


Question: Guess what type of bow can never be tied?

Answer: A Rainbow.


That’s amazing son! Your old Dad’s really made up for you!”



My wife told me that women were better at multi-tasking than men.

So I told her to sit down and shut up.

Guess what – she couldn’t do either.


Dude guess what I found out today?

What?

You can turn off autocorrect

Cool Brb

Thds is sdso awsosdmemee!!

CHANGE IT BACK!!


Question: What’s the difference between a pessimist and a magnet?

Answer: A magnet has a positive side.


I know that most domesticated animals aren’t indigenous to this country.

So guess what, cat? You can beat it. Go back to Catalina Island or Catalonia, Spain, or Katmandu,

or wherever the hell your hairy ass is from! ‘Cause this is America and around here – Katmandon’t.

Guess What Riddles:

Question: What is a cow with no legs called?

Answer: Ground Beef.


Question: Why does a divorce cost so much?

Answer: Because it is worth it.


Question: Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming?

Answer: They take much too long to change.


Question: Why is it that we don’t eat clowns?

Answer: They taste funny.


Question: Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?

Answer: Because there wasn’t a single person there.